vestige-痕迹

vestige in my heart.
I've tried to leave him many times.again and over again..
i try to avoid him..but I failed..
i can't find any reason..
i sms him lesser and lesser..but more than zero..
keep telling myself..don't be addicted
man it's way too hard..
can anyone tell me..why?

unexpected experience over again..
i went to another guy's house..after clubbing
i tryto go to the other friend's house..but he disagree
i don't know wha he's tinkn..
the one that i like..brought me to his house..
he like that guy too..
we have complecated relation..but i guess he don't knw abt the relation..
i sleep 2gethr with the guy i like..
he touched me..i feel happy and sad at the same time..
difficult to explain..
many questions appear in my mind..
who will he choose..
once i feel i'm useless..
i hope to mantain..
i have to wager..

i try to have relation with others..
but there's no way for me to forget about him.
evertime i went to other guy's house..i hope i can 4get about him..
but GOD sas no..
everytime other friends hug on me..i feel guilty..
i wan't ahug..but no..at last i loose off their hands after they fall asleep
i cry quietly.
deeply.
they treated me well..but..there's nothing i can feel..
i left them.

everytime.he went to anothr guy's house. a scar was marked deeply.
he'll tell me honestly b4 he went ther..
try to keep calm and tears down quietly..but everytime he noticed..
nothing i can do..
when U can give me a clear answer...
-